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Friday Talks |
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119 |
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Friday Talks |
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119 |
Up bringing of Children 2
Written by: Sk. Omar Khadrawi
Translated by: Dr. Faheem Bukhatwa
13 November 2009ac
25 Thul-Qada 1430h
We continue our talk about upbringing of children. What makes us concentrate on the importance of the family is what we see of tremendous risks faced by the bringing up of children. Perhaps one of the most important of those risks is the failure of parents before any other to up bring and educate their children. Also the failure the Islamic educational organizations in Ireland to put in place curricula and educations programs which can contain young people in comprehensively and meet their spiritual, intellectual and moral and physical needs and perceiving the Islamic values in the Koran and Sunnah. Indeed, the right way to create the future generation and the better society is for the parents to return to take their responsibilities in brining up their children.
So, the important question is how we up bring our children the right way. Allah says: {you who believe, protect your selves and your families a fire that is fueled by people and stones}. Up bringing is "the coordinated and balanced religious, intellectual and moral development of a person". Based on this, children’s up bringing is a gradual operation of building, care and repair until perfection is reached. That is gradually starting at birth until maturity. This way, bringing up the children is an Islamic duty for all fathers and mothers to implant faith and to realize Allah's laws. It is a responsibility and a trust which can not be ignored. Allah says: {we have offered entrust upon the skies, earth and the mountains who refused to carry it, and they feared it. But, the human took it on, for the human being was an ignorant aggressor}.
How do we bring up our children?
First: let us look at some of the useful means in bringing up the children. I need to point out here to one very important point and that is there should be absolute agreement between our behaviour and what we ask of our children. In other words, we should not ask our children to do or refrain from doing something when we do something different. Allah said: {You who have faith, why do you say what you do not do. It is a great dislike to Allah that you say what you do not do}. For example when you ask you child not to smoke while he sees you smoke, then he will not listen to you. He or she might say if my dad was truthful about it then he wouldn't be smoking himself. When you ask him to do prayers in a group at the Mosque and he finds you pray alone at home then he might tell you he is going to the mosque when he may go else where.
The first mean for the right up bringing of our children is to ingrain into them from a young age the love for Allah, and fear of Allah, and the love to obey Him, and follow His straight path. That is not an easy task. We should make it a little easier is our own belief that Allah is with us. Allah says: {and those who strive in our cause, We shall certainly guide them to our routs}. And remember that Allah’s reward is in direct relation to the difficulty. Do not use excuses like lack of knowledge, or weakness of education or lack of time to sit with our children. All that can be overcome if the true intention was there.
The up brining of children starts at the time when one starts thinking about marriage. It starts with the selection of the right mother and the selection of the right father to be. The messenger (ppbu) encourage everyone to seek out the one with the religious character as much as one possibly can. The one who has faith offer better support for the husband to obey His God, and support for the up bringing of children. The messenger (ppbu) said: {a woman is sought out for marriage for four characteristics: riches and status and beauty and religion. Pick the religious one and you will win}. The messenger (ppbu) also encouraged the guardian of girl to make a proper selection of a husband when he said: {if one proposes to you whom you are satisfied with his faith and his morals then accept him for marriage. For if you do not there will be much temptation and corruption in the land}.
Second: the Messenger (ppbu) said: {if one of you before approaching his wife is to say: In the name of Allah (ÈÓã Çááå ÇáÑÍãä ÇáÑÍíã), O Allah make us avoid Satan, and make Satan avoid what You have given us. And then a child is to be from that; then Satan will never harm that child}
Third: the proper selection of a name. For a good name has good effect on the individual and the bad name has a bad effect on the individual. The messenger (ppbu) said: {The most loved names to Allah are Abdulla and Abdur-Rahman}. The messenger (ppbu) discouraged against names that carry a hateful or a bad meaning, or a meaning which endorses the individual. The messenger (ppbu) forbade the name indicating slavery and worship to other than Allah.
Fourth: to make Azan (a call to prayer) into the ear of the newly born.
Those four are rights of child upon his father in his early stage of life.
Fifth: teaching children behavior, and good morals and educating them. This starts by strengthening the ties of the child with faith, and understanding the foundations of Islam. Faith here means faith into Allah, angels, the scriptures, the messengers, paradise and hellfire, and the reconvening or accountability and other un-sensed issues. Islamic foundations here we refer to: all physical and financial worship rituals like prayers, fasting, zakah (charity), pilgrimage (Hajj).
The messenger (ppbu) said: {make a starter with your children’s first word is “áÇ Åáå ÅáÇ Çááå” (No God except Allah)}. That should be one the child’s hearing and tong first get used to.
Also bring to the attention of the child what can be comprehended of what is lawful or allowed (Halal) and forbidden (Haram). The messenger (ppbu) said: {be God fearing in what you do, and avoid disobedience of Allah, and command your children to adhere to Allah’s commands, and to refrain from his commanded against. That will be protection to you and them from hell fire.}
The messenger (ppbu) advised to command children to start worship at the age of seven. The messenger (ppbu) said: {command your children to perform prayers at age of seven years, and punish them for it at age of ten and separate them in bed}. Similar to prayers then similar conclusions can be drawn for other worship rituals like fasting and Hajj. When a children performs worships then they are brought up with obedience to Allah, and with doing Allah’s rights, and giving thanks to Allah, and taking refuge to Allah. Such worships should purify the child soul and improves his morals.
Some of the messenger’s guidance is to teach children the love of the messenger (ppbu) and love of the messenger’s family, and the love to recite the holy Koran. From that we can draw also teaching them the battles the messenger (ppbu) attended, and the history and life of his companions. So, our children can take example from the life of the messenger (ppbu) and his companions. Imam Ghazali recommended to teach children the Holy Koran, Hadeeth (the messenger sayings), and the stories of the good people, and some of religious rulings.
Fifth, let us not forget the importance and benefit of asking Allah in a prayer (Duaa) in their up bringing. Make duaa for your children. Ask Allah to give you or grant you God fearing children. Allah says: {Our Lord Bestow on us from our wives children that would delight the eyes or give us peace}.
Do not make a negative Duaa upon your self or upon your children, or those who work for you, and do not make a negative duaa about your money, just in case you do it in an hour of response, and Allah may reply to your duaa}. Indeed, if a parent makes such a bad duaa about their child, and if something happens to that child then it could cause a feeling of guilt with the parent for the rest of their life.
Finally, remember the fact that success or failure of the process of upbringing is: one is born with the natural inclination of believing into one single God and the parents turn the child into a Christian or a Jew or make him an unbeliever. If the right environment is made available for the upbringing at home a child will grow with faith and good morels. Imam Ghazali said that a child is entrusted to his parents, with his or her heart as a pure and precious jewel. If taught goodness then it would grow with goodness and becomes happy in this life and next. And if taught the evil and ignored then it will be doomed.
Notes:
The inhabitants of the city of Al-Medina that received and supported the messenger (PPBU) when he immigrated from Mekkah in the very early years of Islam.
Adhan - The call to prayer.
Ansar (or Al-Ansar):
Assalam Alaikum - The Islamic greeting, literately means: Peace be with you. Used when approaching or leaving. When used during approaching it will be like saying: I bring no harm to you . and when said during leaving somebody it will mean: No harm will come to you after I leave.
is a verse of the Koran. It also means a miracle or a sign from God. Aya (or Ayah):
is a mountain outside the city of Mecca that represents the climax of the Hajj worship. All doing Hajj must stay at this location on the same day. Arafa (or Arafah or Arafat):
Badr - The place of the first significant battle between the Muslims and the pagans of the Quraish. It is located in Saudi Arabia.
Caliph - A Muslim ruler. See: (Khalifa)
Dajjal - Antichrist or the False Massiah.
Dawah - The proliferation of Islamic teachings through word and deed.
Deen (Din) - Religion or way of life.
talking to Allah; praising him and asking him for help. Duaa: a prayer in the form of
Fatwa - Legal verdict given based on the Qur'an (Koran) and the Sunnah which are the recorded sayings and deeds of Muhammad.
Ferdose: is the highest level of the all the gardens of Eden or paradise.
Fiqh - Religious law.
Hadeeth: is something reported that the messenger have said. It includes all the speeches and ceremonies he gave. It is usually narrated or told by one of his companions. There is a list of hadeeths approximately 14000 that are reported and checked to be genuine. No more hadeeths are acceptably added to this list.
Hajar - The Black Stone set into the corner of the Ka'aba in Mecca. It is said to be a stone from Heaven.
Hajj - The pilgrimage to Mecca which takes place in the last month of the Islamic calendar. One of the five pillars of Islam.
Hasana or hasanas: is the reward for a good deed. a hasana is a point or a merit for a good deed.
Hadith - The sayings and not deeds of the prophet Muhammad recorded by his followers. Considered authoritative and perfect.
Hajj: is the worship of pilgrimage.
Hijra (or Hejrah): the event of the immigration of the messenger from Mekkah to Madina. This event marks the start of the Islamic calendar. the Islamic calendar has 12 months based on the lunar cycle, each is 29.5 days. Hijra is also used as a name for the Islamic dating system.
Ibadah - Worship. All the words and deeds with which Allah is pleased. These deeds could be prayer and charity.
Iblis - (Ibleese): On of Satan's names.
Ibn (Ebn): the son of. Used by Arabs as part of an individual's name. Example: Ali whose father is Omar or the son of Omar, would be called: Ali Ibn Omar.
Imam (or Emam)- The leader for a prayer. In the Shiaa sect, an Imam is the individual who has the religious authority.
Iman: belief or faith
Injil (Enjeel) - The Bible. The book inspired to Jesus for the Christians.
Islam - Submission, the religion of all the prophets of Allah culminating in Muhammad.
Jannah - The heavenly garden, Paradise. The place of the faithful in the afterlife.
Jihad: is striving in the line of Allah in many forms. Includes a very wide scope varying from improving oneself to fighting a defensive war in protection of Allah's word. The greatest Jihad is the fight one's self against temptations. It also means "holy war."
Jinn - Supernatural, invisible beings race of beings, below angels. They were made from fire. Like humans, there amongst them are the faithful and the non beleivers and Jinn shall be judged on Judgment Day.
Ka'aba: A cube shaped building in Mecca containing a stone laid there by Abraham and Ishmael. Some say Ka'aba was first built by Adam, and some say by Abraham. It is the holiest place for Muslims. It is where all Muslims face in their daily prayers. Ka'aba also makes a major part of the pilgrimage in a ritual known as Tawaf.
Khalifa: is the Muslim ruler. Head of the Islamic empire. Exact translation: "Successor".
Khutbah - A sermon given in a Mosque, usually on Friday.
Kufr - Denial or Disbelief. A term Muslims use for anyone who denies existence of Allah or the prophecy of Muhammed.
Koran - Also spelled Qur'an. The holy book of Islam revealed to Muhammad by Allah through the Archangel Gabriel. Koran literally means "the recital." It is the final revelation of Allah given to the prophet Muhammad. It consists of 114 surahs (or chapters.)
Madinah - (Medinah): A city in the Arabian peninsula (in the country known now as Saudi Arabia). A city where the messenger had to immigrate to. Then it was called Yathrib.
Masjid - A center for Muslim activity. It is referred to as a mosque.
Masiah - A sin, or a sinful act
Mecca or Makkah: is the holiest city for Muslims. It contains the Ka'aba mosque with the famous black cubical shape. Mecca is the birth place of the messenger (PPBU).
Mosque - A Muslim house of worship.
Muhajir - (Muhajireen) Immigrant, one who leaves his home town due to lack of religious freedom. It was first used to describe early Muslims immigrating from Mecca to Median and Ethiopia.
Muhammad - the final messenger and prophet of God whose message abrogated all previous revelations. He received the Koran through the angel Gabriel over a 23 year period. Born in Mecca and died in Medina at the age of 63. His full name: Muhammad ibn Abd-Allah
Muslim - One who holds faith to the religion of Islam.
Nafilah: a voluntary prayer other than the five obligatory prayers; performed at any time.
Nasara - Christians. Nasrani: A Christian individual. Nasraniah: Christianity.
Ommah: is the Arabic word for a nation. It usually refers to the Islamic nation unless otherwise specified.
Paradise - Another word for heaven. A garden of bliss, fruits, rivers and all forms of pleasures imaginable and imaginable. No suffering, disease or death. Service is provided by angels. All live in it an ever lasting youthful life. Promised by Almighty Allah to all faithful, true Jews, true Christians and True Muslims. Paradise is one of two places every person will go to, either Paradise or Hellfire.
PPBU (P.B.U.H.) : Peace and Prayers Be Upon him. A statement Muslims use any time they mention the name of the messenger or make a reference to him.
Qadar - Fate. Preordainment is the teaching that all things, good and bad, are preordained to occur.
Qadr - (night of Qadr): The night when the first revelation of the Koran took place. Most likely it happened during one of the last ten nights of the month of Ramadan. Or when the Koran was brought down to the nearest heaven in one go, and from there it was brought down in bits and few verses at a time over a period of 23 years. This night is considered the holiest night for Muslims with tremendous advantages.
Qibla - The direction which Muslims turn for daily prayers, towards Mecca.
Quraish - An ancient Arab tribe to which the messenger Muhammad belonged.
Ramadan - The ninth month of the Islamic calendar which is the month of the fast. The holiest month in the Muslim colander.
Salat - Prayers. Generally it covers all forms of worship, but more specifically refers to the Muslim rituals which is performed to worship Allah five times daily.
Shiaa: A sect of Islam that teaches that a religion leader (Imam) should be the political ruler and must be direct descendants of the messenger (PPBU). Therefore, disapproving of all Muslim leaders who ruled After the messenger (PPBU) except Ali, the messenger's grandson.
Shirk - Associating another god with Allah. Or associating anyone or anything with Allah. Or using anyone or anything as a medium to Allah. The opposite of Monotheism or Tawheed.
Siam or Soam- Fasting
Sunni: is a the title of those Muslims who are suppose to be following the life style of the messenger. This differentiates them from the Shiaa of Iran.
Sunna (Sunnah): Is how the Messenger PPBU lived, what he did or said. It includes the way he dressed, ate, drank, prayed, interacted with other people and fought. Basically, sunnah is the life style of the messenger PPBU. It is considered the second source of legislation in Islamic laws and it is considered to be an important reference to be used for concluding arguments and disputes. It is also a title give to the main stream Muslims who make 90% if all Muslims.
Surah - A chapter of the Koran.
Tawaf: part of the pilgrimage (Hajj) ritual. It involves walking round the Ka'aba Mosque in anti-clock wise direction a number of seven circles.
Tauhid - Tawheed - Monotheism, in Islam is the teaching that there is only one God who alone is worthy of worship. The first requirement of becoming a Muslim. It is included in the testimony of faith for new Muslims when declaring that God is one: (No God but Allah)
Taqwah - Proper fear and veneration of Allah. A divine spark that enables the person to understand God.
Taurat: The old Testaments and scriptures of Mosa.
Ummah - the word means: a Nation. Usually refers to the Islamic nation unless otherwise stated.
Umrah - (Amrah): A mini hajj. A Minor form of pilgrimage to Mecca. Unlike Hajj which can only be done on the 12th month of the Islamic year, Umrah can be performed at any time.
Wathoo (wadoo): a washing up ritual done by Muslims before each of the five daily prayers known as ablution.
Zaboor - The Psalms
Zakat - The third pillar of Islam. Alms giving, charity that is given to the poor.
Faheem Bukhatwa, my email
address is : faheemfb@gmail.com
