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Friday Talks |
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105 |
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Friday Talks |
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105 |
Rights of the Husband
Written by Sk. Omar Kadrawi
Translated by: Dr. Faheem Bukhatwa
22 May 2009 ad
28 Jumada Al-Aula 1430 H
This who knows about families in our society, and the suffering they experience from social, psychological and moral problems. And this who looks at the marital dispute cases brought before the courts it becomes clear that we are in dire need of some attention to be given to the state of the family and the relationships between its members. The turmoil of the martial and family life is a big factor in the turmoil and anguish of the entire nation. These problems occur due to the relaxing of the Islamic rules and occur when the individual relaxes in keeping an eye on Allah. It is at that stage that ciaos and lack of transparency creeps into the rights and obligations of the married couple.
Marriage will go on perfectly when it is based on love, respect and on clearly defined and understood rights by each of the couple. In addition, when each will implement their obligations and will demand it from himself or herself before demanding the other party for their obligations. If this were the case then the family would enjoy a high social standard in the house. This will guarantee happiness, stability and security of the entire family.
At the times when our nation led the world, it used to enjoy a high level of martial life happiness unmatched in history. That was because Islam places clear and unique limits and boundaries to each of the husband and wife and the children within this family. Those rights are equal and in harmony which leads to fulfillment with love and happy life. It also provides the good offspring in the society who will build and not destroy.
Islam bases those rights on justice and love. In a previous Friday, the Imam talked about the obligations of husbands towards their wives. Today the talk is about the rights of the husbands, so a wife will know her obligations towards her husband. Today six husband rights upon his wife; or six wife’s obligations towards the husband are outlined:
1) Obedience.
A wife is to be obedient to her husband in normal and right matters according to the Islamic rulings. It is a form of obedience came about due to the common good between the two partners in love and in the clear. It is not the type of obedience of a slave to a master, or a slave to a lord. It is the type of obedience expected from a younger brother to the older one. This is the Quama demanded by Islam from the wife. Quama includes all the responsibilities of the husband for the provision for and welfare of his wife and children. This obedience has a huge effect on the progress and happiness of the family life. It is also a reason why a wife will enter paradise. The messenger (ppbu) said: {if a woman does her five prayers, and fasted her month, and protected her sanctity, and showed obedience to her husband then she is told: “Enter paradise from any door you wish”}.
Let it be clear here that the obedience is in lawful matters only and not to be expected in a disobedience to Allah. For example if the husband wanted his wife to drink alcohol, or to do take on unlawful food, or dressing or mixing unlawfully then the wife should not be obedient is such cases.
2) Not to be hurt or harmed.
It is the husband right that his wife must respect his feelings, and refrain from doing or saying anything which can hurt him. She must consider his financial situation, and his social status. She must consider his responsibilities at work out side the home. She should not put pressure on to him, and not burden him with more than he can bear. She should not demand more than he can afford so he may revert to providing unlawfully. Allah says: {O Prophet, tell your wives that if you wanted this worldly life and its beauty, then come let me give you what pleases you and let you go in a nice way. And if you wanted Allah and His messenger and the life after, then for those of you who do well Allah has prepared great rewards}
3) Rest and relaxation
A wife must provide the environment, which will make the husband, have peace of mind, and resting soul in a loving home. A wife should dress up, look better, use what attracts him, and increase his love towards her. A woman advised her daughter at her wedded saying: “Dear daughter, here you are leaving the nest you were accustomed to, to a bed you did not know. And to a partner you are not accustomed to. Be to him as his land and he shall be your sky. Be as open plains and he will be your support. And be to him like a dame, and he will be to you like a slave. Do not pester him then he will avoid you, and do not keep your distance from him, then he will forget you. If he approaches you get closer to him, and if he wants his space give him his space. And protect his nose, and his ears and eyes. Let him smell only good fragrance from you, and hears only good words from you, and sees only beauty”.
4) Not leaving the home without his permission.
A husband has the right that his wife does not leave the home without his permission. And that she does not show her attractions in public. The messenger (ppbu) said: {a woman does not leave her home without her husband’s permission. If she did then angels will curse her until she returns}. Allah commanded to curtail eyeing or gazing. Allah says: {Tell the faithful women to restrain their eyeing, and protect their chastity, and not to show their attractions except what’s already visible. And let them cover their chest area, and not to show their attraction except to their husbands, or fathers, or their father-in-law, or their sons-in-law, or their brothers, or their nephews, or their own women}.
5) Time to himself
A husband has the right to be given time for himself, time for him to worship, or to study if he is into knowledge, or time for his business or work. As long as that does not develop into repelling and distancing him.
6) Protecting his honor
A husband’s right is that his wife should protect his reputation, dignity, respect and honor in society. And she must be trustworthy with his money not to take from it except in a lawful manner.
Those were some of the rights of a husband upon his wife. This is a call to all wives to listen: ensure that your husband stay happy. Make your home a garden for your husband to take refuge in. Let him find what he loves within your heart, your pleasing moods, your cleanliness, and your co-operation. And most of all fear Allah through sticking to Allah’s religion. Take care that you do not forget, or let go or relax in any of the rights that Allah made in His rulings.
Notes:
The inhabitants of the city of Al-Medina that received and supported the messenger (PPBU) when he immigrated from Mekkah in the very early years of Islam.
Adhan - The call to prayer.
Ansar (or Al-Ansar):
Assalam Alaikum - The Islamic greeting, literately means: Peace be with you. Used when approaching or leaving. When used during approaching it will be like saying: I bring no harm to you . and when said during leaving somebody it will mean: No harm will come to you after I leave.
is a verse of the Koran. It also means a miracle or a sign from God. Aya (or Ayah):
is a mountain outside the city of Mecca that represents the climax of the Hajj worship. All doing Hajj must stay at this location on the same day. Arafa (or Arafah or Arafat):
Badr - The place of the first significant battle between the Muslims and the pagans of the Quraish. It is located in Saudi Arabia.
Caliph - A Muslim ruler. See: (Khalifa)
Dajjal - Antichrist or the False Massiah.
Dawah - The proliferation of Islamic teachings through word and deed.
Deen (Din) - Religion or way of life.
talking to Allah; praising him and asking him for help. Duaa: a prayer in the form of
Fatwa - Legal verdict given based on the Qur'an (Koran) and the Sunnah which are the recorded sayings and deeds of Muhammad.
Ferdose: is the highest level of the all the gardens of Eden or paradise.
Fiqh - Religious law.
Hadeeth: is something reported that the messenger have said. It includes all the speeches and ceremonies he gave. It is usually narrated or told by one of his companions. There is a list of hadeeths approximately 14000 that are reported and checked to be genuine. No more hadeeths are acceptably added to this list.
Hajar - The Black Stone set into the corner of the Ka'aba in Mecca. It is said to be a stone from Heaven.
Hajj - The pilgrimage to Mecca which takes place in the last month of the Islamic calendar. One of the five pillars of Islam.
Hasana or hasanas: is the reward for a good deed. a hasana is a point or a merit for a good deed.
Hadith - The sayings and not deeds of the prophet Muhammad recorded by his followers. Considered authoritative and perfect.
Hajj: is the worship of pilgrimage.
Hijra (or Hejrah): the event of the immigration of the messenger from Mekkah to Madina. This event marks the start of the Islamic calendar. the Islamic calendar has 12 months based on the lunar cycle, each is 29.5 days. Hijra is also used as a name for the Islamic dating system.
Ibadah - Worship. All the words and deeds with which Allah is pleased. These deeds could be prayer and charity.
Iblis - (Ibleese): On of Satan's names.
Ibn (Ebn): the son of. Used by Arabs as part of an individual's name. Example: Ali whose father is Omar or the son of Omar, would be called: Ali Ibn Omar.
Imam (or Emam)- The leader for a prayer. In the Shiaa sect, an Imam is the individual who has the religious authority.
Iman: belief or faith
Injil (Enjeel) - The Bible. The book inspired to Jesus for the Christians.
Islam - Submission, the religion of all the prophets of Allah culminating in Muhammad.
Jannah - The heavenly garden, Paradise. The place of the faithful in the afterlife.
Jihad: is striving in the line of Allah in many forms. Includes a very wide scope varying from improving oneself to fighting a defensive war in protection of Allah's word. The greatest Jihad is the fight one's self against temptations. It also means "holy war."
Jinn - Supernatural, invisible beings race of beings, below angels. They were made from fire. Like humans, there amongst them are the faithful and the non beleivers and Jinn shall be judged on Judgment Day.
Ka'aba: A cube shaped building in Mecca containing a stone laid there by Abraham and Ishmael. Some say Ka'aba was first built by Adam, and some say by Abraham. It is the holiest place for Muslims. It is where all Muslims face in their daily prayers. Ka'aba also makes a major part of the pilgrimage in a ritual known as Tawaf.
Khalifa: is the Muslim ruler. Head of the Islamic empire. Exact translation: "Successor".
Khutbah - A sermon given in a Mosque, usually on Friday.
Kufr - Denial or Disbelief. A term Muslims use for anyone who denies existence of Allah or the prophecy of Muhammed.
Koran - Also spelled Qur'an. The holy book of Islam revealed to Muhammad by Allah through the Archangel Gabriel. Koran literally means "the recital." It is the final revelation of Allah given to the prophet Muhammad. It consists of 114 surahs (or chapters.)
Madinah - (Medinah): A city in the Arabian peninsula (in the country known now as Saudi Arabia). A city where the messenger had to immigrate to. Then it was called Yathrib.
Masjid - A center for Muslim activity. It is referred to as a mosque.
Masiah - A sin, or a sinful act
Mecca or Makkah: is the holiest city for Muslims. It contains the Ka'aba mosque with the famous black cubical shape. Mecca is the birth place of the messenger (PPBU).
Mosque - A Muslim house of worship.
Muhajir - (Muhajireen) Immigrant, one who leaves his home town due to lack of religious freedom. It was first used to describe early Muslims immigrating from Mecca to Median and Ethiopia.
Muhammad - the final messenger and prophet of God whose message abrogated all previous revelations. He received the Koran through the angel Gabriel over a 23 year period. Born in Mecca and died in Medina at the age of 63. His full name: Muhammad ibn Abd-Allah
Muslim - One who holds faith to the religion of Islam.
Nafilah: a voluntary prayer other than the five obligatory prayers; performed at any time.
Nasara - Christians. Nasrani: A Christian individual. Nasraniah: Christianity.
Ommah: is the Arabic word for a nation. It usually refers to the Islamic nation unless otherwise specified.
Paradise - Another word for heaven. A garden of bliss, fruits, rivers and all forms of pleasures imaginable and imaginable. No suffering, disease or death. Service is provided by angels. All live in it an ever lasting youthful life. Promised by Almighty Allah to all faithful, true Jews, true Christians and True Muslims. Paradise is one of two places every person will go to, either Paradise or Hellfire.
PPBU (P.B.U.H.) : Peace and Prayers Be Upon him. A statement Muslims use any time they mention the name of the messenger or make a reference to him.
Qadar - Fate. Preordainment is the teaching that all things, good and bad, are preordained to occur.
Qadr - (night of Qadr): The night when the first revelation of the Koran took place. Most likely it happened during one of the last ten nights of the month of Ramadan. Or when the Koran was brought down to the nearest heaven in one go, and from there it was brought down in bits and few verses at a time over a period of 23 years. This night is considered the holiest night for Muslims with tremendous advantages.
Qibla - The direction which Muslims turn for daily prayers, towards Mecca.
Quraish - An ancient Arab tribe to which the messenger Muhammad belonged.
Ramadan - The ninth month of the Islamic calendar which is the month of the fast. The holiest month in the Muslim colander.
Salat - Prayers. Generally it covers all forms of worship, but more specifically refers to the Muslim rituals which is performed to worship Allah five times daily.
Shiaa: A sect of Islam that teaches that a religion leader (Imam) should be the political ruler and must be direct descendants of the messenger (PPBU). Therefore, disapproving of all Muslim leaders who ruled After the messenger (PPBU) except Ali, the messenger's grandson.
Shirk - Associating another god with Allah. Or associating anyone or anything with Allah. Or using anyone or anything as a medium to Allah. The opposite of Monotheism or Tawheed.
Siam or Soam- Fasting
Sunni: is a the title of those Muslims who are suppose to be following the life style of the messenger. This differentiates them from the Shiaa of Iran.
Sunna (Sunnah): Is how the Messenger PPBU lived, what he did or said. It includes the way he dressed, ate, drank, prayed, interacted with other people and fought. Basically, sunnah is the life style of the messenger PPBU. It is considered the second source of legislation in Islamic laws and it is considered to be an important reference to be used for concluding arguments and disputes. It is also a title give to the main stream Muslims who make 90% if all Muslims.
Surah - A chapter of the Koran.
Tawaf: part of the pilgrimage (Hajj) ritual. It involves walking round the Ka'aba Mosque in anti-clock wise direction a number of seven circles.
Tauhid - Tawheed - Monotheism, in Islam is the teaching that there is only one God who alone is worthy of worship. The first requirement of becoming a Muslim. It is included in the testimony of faith for new Muslims when declaring that God is one: (No God but Allah)
Taqwah - Proper fear and veneration of Allah. A divine spark that enables the person to understand God.
Taurat: The old Testaments and scriptures of Mosa.
Ummah - the word means: a Nation. Usually refers to the Islamic nation unless otherwise stated.
Umrah - (Amrah): A mini hajj. A Minor form of pilgrimage to Mecca. Unlike Hajj which can only be done on the 12th month of the Islamic year, Umrah can be performed at any time.
Wathoo (wadoo): a washing up ritual done by Muslims before each of the five daily prayers known as ablution.
Zaboor - The Psalms
Zakat - The third pillar of Islam. Alms giving, charity that is given to the poor.
Faheem Bukhatwa, my email
address is : faheemfb@gmail.com
